The Beginning of JT's end
by IndigoQueen
Summary: The story of how Gemma fell in love with her husbands best friend. Please read and review xo
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I own nothing. Hope you enjoy, please read and review, tell me whether you'd like to see this story continue xo

X

Clay had always had a thing for his best friends girl, no matter how much he tried to rid himself of it with booze and whores, even after they were married he couldn't deny he wanted her. But it was more then that..she was special. Like no other woman he had ever met, or ever would he thought, but she was Johns, there was nothing he could do and so he tried to hide it, suppress it so that he didn't get that urge to kiss her and take her in his arms every time she entered the god damned room. He tried and for years he succeeded in keeping his wanting gazes to a minim and hiding the fact that he was constantly looking out for her. He hid it perfectly from JT and the club...but he couldn't hide it from the one person he truly needed to. She knew...Gemma always knew.

Hiding was becoming harder and harder everyday the more time JT spent in Ireland. He was leaving her for months at a time to be with his Irish squeeze and it made Clays blood boil, he didn't even realise what he had and he was throwing it away. Leaving his wife to raise their two sons on her own while he was up in leprechaun country with some IRA tart. He could see how Johns absence was hurting Gemma.

She hid it well from the others, putting on a brave face that was almost bullet proof, but Clay could see the hurt in her eyes. He could see right into Gemma's soul and it scared the hell out of her, no one had ever be enable to read her like he could, with him she felt exposed and vulnerable, both things she hated with a passion but with him..it was different, there was a flutter in her heart every time her eyes met ash she cursed herself for it because that couldn't happen. He was JTs best friend and she was his wife. But John was in Ireland for months at a time now, leaving her to take care of a sick kid who's health was rapidly declining now, she could feel her baby slipping away from her and there was nothing she could do to stop it and thanks to JT she had to do it alone.

Even when he was home he may as well have been gone. He barely spoke to her, he was cold and detached, always wishing he was somewhere else. She had her suspicions that John was cheating but she didn't yet know for sure. Either way he didn't want her anymore. It killed her the way his eyes that were once so filled with love for only her had become so indifferent in her presence. She used to be his muse to which he would write letters of love and admiration, now she barely warranted a smile. She had given him two beautiful sons, granted she could feel her little Tomas wouldn't be with them much longer, she had fulfilled her duty as a wife, stuck to all her vows, she had loved him through thick and thin, stuck with him for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health...and yet he made her feel like nothing.

He had hardly ever raised a hand to her that was true and he kept food on the table and a shelter over their heads so she supposed many would call her lucky, but to Gemma even anger was better than dispassion. His silence broke her heart more than any words could and his cold, emotionless eyes hurt more than any backhand she had ever received.

And then there was Clay, looking at her with the same wanting that he had when JT first introduced them. He tried his best to look out for her while John was gone, help her where ever he could without overdoing it. His concern touched her and she found herself confiding in him more than she had anyone else in her life. She didn't know what it was about him that made him so easy to talk to, she felt like he understood her completely and she him.

They spent many nights together in her office at the club house, talking about anything and everything, pouring out their hearts to each other in a show of trust neither of them had thought possible with anyone else. In a matter of weeks she knew him better than she did her own husband and what started off as friendship had become something much deeper, though she chose not to act on it. She had never been unfaithful to John and even now, no matter how much she wanted it, betraying her husband brought a sick feeling to her stomach. The end of her and JT had been a long time coming but it wasn't until that night that she knew it was truly over.

He was in Ireland when her baby boy slipped into a coma as a result of the family flaw. Her family flaw she thought as the guilt started to rise in the throat. It was her faulty genes that had caused this. He was such a sweet baby boy...and he was going to die simply because he was her son. Her blood. She was a wreck and he couldn't even be there for her. If he got too close the club would know something was up and if they found out there was something going on between him and the Presidents Old Lady he'd be out for sure and she'd get shunned. He knew she needed him but he couldn't risk the club finding out, not yet anyway. They were her family just as much as they were his or JTs and if they didn't do this right she'd loose them for sure.

He'd left 12 messages on Johns phone already telling him to get his ass back to Charming and take care of his family and he was about to leave 12 more. He couldn't believe how far the man he once knew had changed. The JT that built this club would never have left Gemma alone like this, especially for some Irish pussy. Clay didn't know what had happened to the man he once called his best friend, what happened to the John Teller that would rip the world apart twice over for the ones he loved but the sack of shit currently inhabiting his body certainly wasn't him.

For three days Gemma and the boys tried to contact JT with no luck..and it was on the third day that Tomas took his last breath and the usually invincible matriarch crumbled, not caring who was there to see her fall. She hugged her babies lifeless form tight against her chest her tears hitting his cold little face as they fell uncontrollably. Her sobs could be heard throughout the whole hospital and no one said a word when Clay scooped her small frame into his arms, coaxing her into letting go of her beloved Tomas with words of compassion and kindness, 'let him rest baby' he said as he kissed her temple 'he's not in pain anymore'.

No one cast suspicions on the action, she needed it and if Clay hadn't beat them to it any of them would have done the same for the Queen of SAMCRO. She may have belonged to JT but they all loved her and they were grateful when he got her heart wrenching sobs to quieter down into broken whimpers, though this sound was almost more heartbreaking then the first at least no one else could hear her now. They all knew how much she hated seeming weak in front of them let alone a hospital full of people.

"I'm going to take her home" Clay told the others as he cradled his love in his arms, they all nodded in agreement and Piney handed over the keys to the truck, she hadn't left the hospital in 72 hours, she'd barely slept let alone eaten and she was way overdue for a much needed rest Bobby opened up the passenger door and placed Gemma in the car and Piney whispered for her not to worry about Jax, that he could stay with him and Opie as long as she needed. Her head didn't even turn in acknowledgement, her tear soaked eyes glazed over, lost in the memories of her young son.

Bobby and Piney bowed their heads, they hated seeing her like this, she was such a force of nature that seeing her so broken was almost unbearable, Piney was ashamed for his best friend. He knew what John was doing in Belfast and though he'd never say anything, such things weren't his place he too along with all his fellow brothers were disgusted in the way JT had abandoned Gemma when she needed him the most.

They were glad Clay was taking the lead here for neither of them had the first clue how to comfort a woman who had just lost her son. When Clay drove away Piney decided to call his President one last time before headin back to the clubhouse and finally, for the first time in nearly a week he hears a voice on the other end.. Gemma is silent the whole ride home and Clay doesn't try to bother her, talking isn't what she needs right now, not yet.

They pull up out front of the Teller residence, the house that was everything JT had promised he'd give to her since they first met when she was only 19. Gemma made no move to get out of the car and so with a sigh Clay reached over and fished out the keys from her purse, getting out and walking up opening the door and turning the hall light on before returning to fetch Gemma.

She walked up slowly, almost resistantly though she out up no fight. Once inside, amongst all the pictures and memories the tears that had since dried on tired pale cheeks came rushing back until she laid eyes on a family picture of the four of them, her and JT back before it all turned to shit with him holding Jax and her holding Tomas and all her sorrow turned to rage, rage at the man that had fled the country the time this family need him the most.

She let out a piercing shriek as she ripped it from the wall, throwing it against the floor and shattering it into the million broken pieces JT had turned this family into. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pinning them to her sides as he tried to whisper in her ear hoping he could calm her down once more

"Shh..shh I'm here baby" he said kissing the side of her head "I'm here"

"But he's not!" She yelled trying, but failing to break free of his hold "My SON is dead! And his BASTARD of a father is off probably screwing god knows how many whores half way across the god damned world!"

"He's a fool Gem"

"He should be here! He should be her with me and with Jax trying to pick up the pieces! " she yelled back, her voice dying down slowly until it was just above a whisper, heartbroken and confused

"what did I do Clay? What did I do to make him hate me so much? Why did he leave me here all alone?!"

"Hey, hey" he cooed, turning her around to face him but not loosening his hold at all, she pressed herself against his chest, wrapping her arms around him as he continued

"you're not alone Gem, I'd never let that happen. I'm here for you, whatever you need. I don't know what's goin on with JT but I know it ain't on you sweetheart. Whatever issue he's got that's his problem..

It kills me the way he treats you, because I know if you were my Old Lady I wouldn't leave you for the world. I'd spend everyday makin sure you knew you were my Queen"

Gemma's heart beat erratically in her chest at the confession, she was melting into him. Sure he wasn't quite the poet that John was, but she knew he meant every word of what he said and she couldn't take it anymore.

She no longer cared about betraying JT, he had already hurt worse than she could ever do in return. But her loyalties had shifted and right now she didn't give a damn about and the vows she had made. All she saw was Clay and the love shed been trying to hide for too long. She kissed him roughly with fierce passion, she wasn't one for dragging things out, she didn't want it slow she just wanted him, all of him He pressed her up against the wall returning her kiss with equal amounts of love and lust and when he pulled back breathless what he was about to say looked almost physically painful

"You need rest first baby" he said huskily

"But-"

"We've got all night Gem" he smiled lightly "just take a nap while I clean up this glass and when you wake up we'll pick up right where we left off"

"But-"

"-Ah, no buts " he said kissing her once more "I don't want you passin out on me on round one" he smirked cheekily and Gemma couldn't help but chuckle

Eventually she agreed to go lay down for a while first but she wasn't pleased. She watched him from the bed as he picked up the pieces of broken glass that were scattered around the hall way, just as he was picking up the pieces of her broken heart and she allowed herself a small smile.

She didn't care anymore where her husband was, she didn't care what or who he was doing and she didn't care about why...none of it mattered anymore it didn't matter what JTs reasons were it didn't even matter if he was coming back. Because after tonight she wouldn't be his anymore, after tonight

She would be Clays.

TBC..?


	2. Chapter 2

She woke the next morning with a man that was not her husband laying naked beside her in her marital bed, she allowed a slight upturn of her lips at the sight of the man that had been so good to her as of late.

Part of her was unbelievably guilty and almost sorry for what shed done, but a larger part preferred it this way. Clay loved her, she could see it on his face clear and day and the less she saw JT the more she grew to feel the same.

The brown eyed beauty wasn't sure how long she stared at the face of her companion, studying his strong jaw and sleep softened features. She was more then grateful for the distraction he provided, she had needed it. But now in the mornings light all the realities of yesterday were about to come crashing down. Her eyes filled with tears that stung but didn't fall and all she could think about was the loss of her child

Clay woke up not long after her, he wasn't a heavy sleeper, I this life you couldn't afford to be. So when he felt her move he had woken immediately though he kept his eyes closed, he knew she needed some time to think and so he pretended to be sleeping peacefully, allowing her to stare at him for as long as she needed, he wasn't going anywhere. Not unless she wanted him to. It wasn't until he heard her quiet sob that he spoke

"Mornin beautiful, how you holdin up?" He asked groggily, though he already knew the answer.

She simply shook her head unable to speak through her tears and he pulled her in close, letting her cry all she needed to.

It was almost an hour later when she finally spoke "I have to she Jax...I have to tell him that-th.." She let out a shaky breath incapable of even forming the words

"You don't gotta do it today Gem, take all the time you need"

"I can't..i can't risk him findin out from anyone else...he deserves to hear it from me"

Clay nodded his head in understanding, Clay knew Gemma well enough to know she would always put her kids needs over her own and he knew no matter how hard it was she was going to find a way to tell her son his little brother was gone and she was going to do it today. There was no point in trying to stop or delay her, right now she just needed his support and so he pressed a firm kiss to the top of her head and held her tight as he offered to make coffee.

It was almost 9:30 when Gemma finely rolled up at Piney's that morning, she could see Jax and Opie playing happily out the back. It was a bittersweet feeling seeing that smile. On one hand it's what she longed for, what she needed more than anything for the one baby she had left to be happy...but she knew once she told him what she came to say she wouldn't be seeing it again anytime soon

Most people would've knocked first, let Piney know they were here but this was Gemma we were talking about and she had no time for pleasantries today. She walked straight through to the backyard, putting on a smile as her little man ran over to her

"Mom! Mom you're here!" He cheered as he crashed into her, wrapping his skinny arms around her waist. His dark haired mother returned the tight embrace, savouring the feeling of holding him in her arms and promising herself she'd never allow anyone to take him from her

"Does this mean Tommy's ok?" He asked with such hope filled innocents she almost burst into tears for what seemed like the up-tenth time in the last two days She let out a shaky sigh and placed a kiss in his upon his little blonde hair

"There's something I gotta tell ya baby" she said sadly, still trying to keep her voice from trembling He gave her a worried look before nodding and taking her hand, pulling her over to the wooden picnic table that Opie and his old man had built last summer. He sat her down gently, never once letting go of her hand, he could tell she needed the contact

"What's wrong mom?" He said in a way that was far beyond his eleven years. She was so proud of the man she could already see her son becoming. She scooted over on the bench to make room for him to sit down next to her

"Listen sweetheart, there's something I need to tell you"

"Yeah you said that part already mom"

"I know baby it's just..what I have to say...it's a hard thing"

"I can take it mom" he said puffing out his chest just a little to show how tough he was "whatever it is, I can handle it"

she gave him a small sad smile before deciding it was probably best to get this over with "It's about your brother-"

"Yeah? Is he still sick, is that what you gotta tell me?"

"No baby"

"Oh..well then that's-" She turned to face him, silencing her strong boy with a hand rested softly on his cheek

"Listen to me baby...your brother was very very sick and last night...things took a turn for the worst, he fought as hard as he could but his little heart just couldn't take it anymore"

His eyes filled with tears, he knew what that meant, but still he had to make sure "So wh-"

"He's gone baby...your grandparents will look after him now" she choked out

He knew which ones she meant, his fathers parents. The dead ones.

He nodded his head in understanding, trying hard not to let the tears fall. He wanted to be strong for her

"I'm sorry Ma"

"Sorry? For what sweetheart?"

"I know how much you loved him"

"But you loved him too"

"Yeah.." He nodded, his eyes cast down as tears made their way down his face and he cursed himself for his weakness. She pulled him tight to her, wrapping her boy up in her arms and kissing his temple "You don't need your brave face around me Jackson"

And just like that he wrapped his arms around her neck, and let himself cry. He could be a man tomorrow he thought. They stayed like that for a long while, Op had gone inside to give them all the space they needed. When Jax eventually broke the silence she really wished he hadn't

"Where's Dad?"

She thought about her answer carefully. What could she really tell him? She couldn't tell him he was out with some whore ignoring everybody's phone calls. She supposed she could tell him JT was in Ireland..eventually she settled on..

"I don't know baby...I don't know"

It was a long day and Jax was asleep much earlier than usual. They had spent the whole day joined at the hip and the poor kid was emotionally worn out, she tucked him into his Harley themed bed at around 8 that night, kissing his forehead lightly she sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes just taking the time to watch the rise and fall of his chest.

She supposed it was stupid really but she just needed to make sure he wasn't gonna stop breathing on her.

The door bell rang a few minutes before 9 and she cursed whoever dared disturb her before putting her drink down and her cigarette out, when she opened the door she was greeted by the one guest she didn't mind having right now

"Hey Clay"

"Hey beautiful" he said kissing her cheek "How's he doin?"

"Sleeping for now..he's doing..as well as can be expected"

"What about his mom?"

"..."

"I'm here baby" he promises softly, lightly caressing her cheek before bringing his lips down to meet hers and she returned his kiss eagerly, resting her head on his chest when they eventually broke apart

"If I didn't have you I don't know what I'd do"

"Then I guess it's lucky you'll never have to find out " he said rubbing soothing circles into her back when suddenly the door bell rang once more

She huffed irritably at the interruption, swinging the door open roughly ready to rip whoever it was a new one but what she found on the other side stunned her into silence.

"Daddy's home.."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing_**

**_please read and review xo tell me if you think it's worth continuing, feedback makes me write faster, just saying ;)_**

_"Daddy's home.."_

She was stunned by the audacity of the man who would dare come to her door with his soft voice so smooth and hopeful as if he expected her to tell him what she was sure he'd heard by now was just a cruel joke told to make him return and maybe if she didn't has him so much right now she would've felt sorry for him, maybe if he was still the golden hearted biker she fell in love with she would've wrapped her arms around him and told him that everything would be okay just as she'd done a hundred times since she'd become his old lady. But things had changed, she did hate him and it was all his fault.

"Daddy's too late." She replied coldly before slamming the door in his face and locking it for good measure

Clay came up behind her, massaging some of the tension out of her shoulders and plaguing a kiss on the side of her head "You can't stay, he's-"

"I know babe. We don't want anybody getting suspicious" he said pulling away and getting ready to leave

He had his hand on the door when Gemma felt a sudden rush of fear that he was going to change his mind about them, she grabbed his other hand and he turned to look at her and their eyes met, his strong and protective, hers fearful, uncertain and totally out of character for his brunette goddess who's chocolate orbs were usually filled with more fire than most could handle.

In that moment words weren't necessary for him to know what she needed from him. He pushed her up against the wall, sliding his fingers into her hair as he covered her soft pink lips with his own, the kiss was strong and reassuring and when he slipped his tongue into her mouth the Queen of SAMCRO let herself be dominated, eagerly submitting to the feeling of being wanted and protected his touch brought her When they came up for air they were both panting, breathing in the air the other expelled as the tried to get their heart rates back to normal

Still breathless he pulled her in for another chaste kiss before whispering huskily in her ear

"I'll see you at the club house"

She nodded in agreement and satisfied she knew he wasn't backin' out of what they had just because JT was back he left

Once out of the house he had a clear view of Johns bike parked just a little too close to his with it's owner leaning against it's side smokin a cigarette

"Welcome back brother" he said as he walked over and embraced his club president, though all he really wanted to do was knock the prick out for bein gone in the first place

"Hey brother, wasn't expectin to see you here" JT replied Clay smiled slightly

"yeah, I've been keepin an eye on Gemma and the kid while you been gone" technically he wasn't lying to him, he just wasn't tellin him the whole truth and in a world of outlaws, guns and whores a half truth was just as good as the whole truth. Better in some cases.

"Thanks brother, don't know what I'd do without you" JT said with the same tight smile "but I guess you won't be needin to do that anymore now I'm home"

"Yeah" Clay almost scoffed, less than impressed as he got on his bike and prepared to head off

"If you got somethin to say to me brother, just say it"

He knew he should've kept his mouth shut, it wasn't in place but as the broken sobs of the strongest woman he'd ever met rung out in his ears he just couldn't help himself

"I got nothin to say to you, I don't even know who you are anymore"

"Meaning?" He scoffed

"Meaning the JT I know isn't the type of asshole that abandons his wife while she's sittin alone watchin her son die because he's busy fuckin some Irish gash" he spat

"Don't! Don't talk about her that way!" He yelled back, Clay was stunned, he couldn't believe that out of all the times in the world he chose now, in front of the house his son who had just become an only child and his wife who was mourning the loss of her baby were sleeping, he was going to defend his whore

"I love my kids! You know that if I had've known what was goin on I woulda been here"

"Well maybe if you answered your goddamned phone every once and a while someone coulda told you"

At this John bowed his head in shame, he knew he fucked up and for the first time since his return Clay noticed how messed up his friend looked. He was hurtin that was clear and Clays anger dimmed at the sight, he almost felt guilty for goin off on him, almost.

"How is she?" John asked timidly

You care? He almost shot back but thought better of it

"She's a wreck man, like I've never seen her. She's got a lot of hate for you right now...you're gonna have to make that shit right" he warned

"Thanks for bein here for her brother, it should've been me I know, I know I made a mess outta all this...I'm just glad she wasn't alone when it happened"

"Don't mention it brother, the club loves Gemma. If it wasn't me it woulda been someone else, we wouldn't let her go through this alone...even still I think maybe it should be you sittin by her side for a while" JT nodded and looked down at his feet before asking

"You think it's safe to go in yet?"

Clay smirked slightly "I think if you wanna keep breathin you might wanna crash at the clubhouse tonight"

He chuckled under his breath before gettin on his Harley "I'll follow you there, VP"

The next day they were organising a celebration for JT's return, trying to avid the pain of the times with booze and whores

All the crow eaters were there that night, hangin off of Clay as one of the only single crows left at the moment they all wanted a piece of him, a chance to be an old lady. Usually he was happy to let them entertain him but now...there was only one woman that he was interested in, only one he wanted to be with and he was no longer in the mood to try and substitute perfection with cheap, over-used and fleeting pleasures that mean nothing after they'd been had

JT drunk himself into a stupor, put on a fake smile and spent the night laughing with his buddies but as the party started dying down and the sons had all picked their nights pleasure he stumbled into the back room, he missed the time in his life when his wife would be beside him in this bed but he was a man changed by pain and loss...he didn't know how to get back to the man he used to be, the man that wrote letters of undying love to his dark haired Queen instead of his Irish princess...he never meant for it to be this way, he never meant to hurt her but for the last few years Maureen was the only one that could make him feel like himself. He tried to think of a solution, of a way to get his life back, a way to get his club back to what he had always meant for it to be and the way he was gonna do that was to get outta guns. He thought that earning straight would be the solution to all his woes...but oh how wrong our little John was..

**_TBC..?_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_I ship Clay and Gemma all the way but I feel like giving John the benefit of the doubt and at least try and makeup for being an asshole, whether it works or not is another story lol The next chapter will be up in the next couple days and will be a lot more Gemma and Clay based, please continue to read and review! I live for feedback so anything you can say is much appreciated! Enjoy xo _**

John was cruising down the same street he'd been down a thousand times in the last ten years but this was the first time he was truly nervous. Gemma was a daunting woman to confront on any day but when she was broken? He'd be lucky to get out alive. He knew how bad he had handled the situation and the death of his boy had cut him deeply, he wasn't sure which way was up anymore. He felt trapped in a dark pit of loss and dis pair and he knew that no matter how he felt his bride was suffering even more.

She had been here, she was the one that had to watch as the light left their sweet Tomas' young eyes and she didn't have him there to help her pick up the pieces of her shattered heart. His actions had cost him a lot of trust in his wife's regard but he was going to do all he could to get it back.

He had made a lot of mistakes and he had betrayed her trust to a point where if she ever knew the truth forgiveness would be out of the question. If she were to know that his reasons for not being their in his sons final hours were that he had fallen in love with another, gotten her pregnant...his marriage would unquestionably be over and if she had her way he would no doubt be dead before the week was up.

The honest truth that he himself was only now starting to realise is though he loved Maureen he would never love any woman the way he loved his Queen. His family was in Charming and though he might now have one in Ireland too, they would always be first in his heart, he only wished he had come to this realisation before his affair created offspring. But he put that behind him for the issue at hand was far more important, if he were to have any hope at all of salvaging his club and his family he needed his old lady by his side, he needed Gemma and that's where he was going.

He would get down on his hands and knees if he had to but he needed make her see that he was truly sorry for his actions He pulled up to the house and got out his keys, he thought about knocking but he knew she wouldn't answer and he thought possibly that if he was able to catch her off guard that she'd be too stunned to fight him and maybe he could get her to listen

He walked into the house quietly to find Gemma sitting at the dining room table nursing a whiskey and a cigarette in shaky hands, which could be considered a little concerning and 9am but he said nothing, the hole he'd dug himself was deep enough. She looked at him,me yes burning with rage that hadn't at all dissipated since his return but she made no effort to move, not yet.

He could tell by looking at her that things would go flying before the end of the discussion they were about to have and so he wanted first to make sure they were alone and their wouldn't be any innocent witnesses to the carnage that was about to take place

"Jax?"

"With Opie" she replied cooly, exhaling smoke from the cigarette she was trying to focus on to keep herself calm

"Gemma, we need to talk"

"My son is dead, I got nothing left to say" she wouldn't even look at him, her words came out harsh but the way she pursed her lips and looked off into the distance told him they hurt her a hell of a lot more then she was letting on. Only further proving how badly he'd fucked up, Gemma hid herself deep down behind her cool and aloof exterior in front of the world, never really letting anyone see her fear or her sadness, she made herself out to be invincible, untouchable to everyone around her. But until now she had never felt the need to use her walls around him, he could see right through her of course but the attempt to hide herself from him was a testament to the monumental amount of pain he'd caused and it made him want to die

He walked over, kneeling in front over her, trying to catch her eyes but she wouldn't let him

"Please Gemma, I'm sorry" he started as moved his hand out to rest on her knee "I never meant t-"

"Don't!" She jumped back as soon as she felt the weight of his palm on her leg "you don't get to touch me, you haven't earned that right! How dare you come in here and tell me that you're sorry, I watched my baby die! I watched him suffer in pain and I watched as he took his last breath and you weren't there! Where the fuck were you huh? Where were you that you couldn't puck up the god damned phone John?! We called you for three days and no answer!" Her face was red with anger as she screamed at him, letting out all the pain she had bottled up just for him "you left me here alone to go off and enjoy whatever brand of pussy Ireland had to offer while I watched my son die and then have to tell my other son that he doesn't have a brother anymore on my own! Do you want to know the first question Jax asked me after I told him that his little brother was dead?" She continued, tears of hot rage burning down her cheeks "do you? The first thing he wanted to know when he finished crying into my arms, 'where's dad' and the only answer I could give him was I don't know, I don't know where the hell you are or where you've been for the last year but it sure as hell isn't with us so don't you dare come into this house telling me you're sorry"

JT looked at his Queen, at the pain he had created and he felt tears streaking down his own face. Tears of guilt and regret, he should been there for his wife, he should have been there for his sons but he wasn't and there wasn't a thing he could say that would change that

"Gemma I want to fix this, I want to fix us" he pleaded, stepping closer to her again wanting nothing more then to take away the pain he had created "I'll make this up to you my love, whatever it takes I just-" he pressed his lips to hers, cupping her face in his hands and pushing her up against the table with a passion she hadn't felt from him since he began his trips to Ireland, she wrapped her arms around his neck instinctually and he lifted her up onto the table, the feel of his lips was so familiar it was almost soothing even now when she hated him so, the way their mouths fit together was like magic and the musky smell that was so unique to her husband filled her nostrils, making her heart clench in an oh so familiar way, that was the reason she was convinced that they were meant to be but in the heat of the moment when his hands were running up and down her body the face of another filled her thoughts

The image of Clay that invaded her mind, the image of that night and the gentle way in which his large, calloused hands hand cared for her body, touching her in all the right places was enough to break her free of the lustful encounter she was currently allowing herself to be, in her opinion tricked into She broke the kiss, using both hands to push him off of her before delivering a firm slap to the side of his face, the sound of which could probably be heard throughout their humble abode

"You seriously think that little of me John? You think you can fuck me into submission, use sex to get me to forgive you for bailing on your family? I'm not some goddamn crow eater asshole, it doesn't work that way" she said venomously as she jumped down from the table, straightening her clothes

He looked at her completely stunned and taken aback "Gemma I would never-"

"Just go John, please"

Not wanting to upset her anymore and frankly too stunned to fight back JT did as she asked and left in silence. He hadn't meant to try and sleep with her, he certainly had no intention of making her feel cheep he just wanted to take the pain away and in the past when words failed them sex had always been their way of expressing the emotions that threatens to overwhelm them. He wasn't sure exactly what it was that made her stop but he knew that she still loved him, even though she hated him their bonds was unbreakable, their chemistry unmatched and he knew that if he played his cards right he could be on his way to getting her back


	5. Chapter 5

**_Wasn't sure about this chapter, please read and review, let me know what you thought of it xo_**

JT thought about his wife and son all the way to his meeting with the Irish, he was going to start trying to get out of guns, cut ties with the IRA...and Ireland for good in order to focus on his life in Charming After he left

Gemma had to take a minute to catch her breath. What the hell was that? John hadn't kissed her like that in...well it had been a while She was confused and she was conflicted JT was finally acting like himself, finally doing everything she'd wanted him to do for months, he seemed to want her again and she couldn't help the warm feeling that rose in her gut as a result.

She loved her husband, she would always love him but he wasn't the only one anymore. There was another that invaded her thoughts, one that had been there for her when JT wasn't, one that she loved more with each passing day..

"Hey Beautiful" Clay said as he answered his phone

"Hey Clay"

"Somethin wrong Gem?"

"No it's just...JT came to the house today"

"Oh...how'd it go?"

"He tried to apologise, I lost it a little and then he tried to get in my pants" she sighed

"And you-"

"I couldn't I-" could she really tell him why she stopped? She didn't want to scare him off with shit like that too soon.. "It didn't feel right"

She heard Clay let out a relieved breath she hadn't notice he was holding, the fact that he didn't want her to be with any one else, not even her husband made her heart flutter just a little as she tried to suppress the grin that threatened to creep across her lips

"You still love him Gem?"

Her mood darkened a bit at the question but she wouldn't lie to him "I think I always will..." She said quietly

There was silence for a moment before his next question "and he loves you?"

She thought for a minute, she hadn't been so sure before today but...the pain in his eyes..the passion in his kiss "..yeah"

He sighed, as if preparing himself to get shot "then I think, I think you should try"

"What the hell are you talkin about, try?" She said trying to keep the panic from her voice, had he changed his mind? Was he starting to feel guilty about betraying John?

"I mean you should try lovin each other for a while, see if it works out" he said as though the words were physically painful

Gemma felt as though she'd been kicked in the gut "but I thought..I thought you wanted-"

"I want you happy Gemma. Bein with you...that's what makes me happy. But I..I don't want you givin up on your marriage before you know for sure it's what you want"

"And what if I'm done, what if I don't want to be JT's Old Lady anymore..." Clay picked up on what she left unsaid; what if she wanted to be his He grinned and let out a joyous hum under his breath

"I love you Gemma, always have always will. I'll be waitin for you whatever you decide. But give JT a chance first okay? If for nothing else than to keep up appearances"

"Okay.." She whispered "I love you" she said before hanging up

The brunette thinks long and hard and decides to listen to Clay and give JT a chance, she knew if she didn't at least give it it's last shot she'd live to regret it. Divorce wasn't something that appealed to her at all and if there was a possibility to avoid it then the brunette was willing to take it

She drove over to the clubhouse lookin for John in hopes of making up for earlier, when she got there he was no where to be found. Clay was workin in the shop with Lowell senior and one of the prospects, Bobby and Piney were sittin at the bar as usual, she greeted them both with a kiss to the cheek before headin into the back to wait in the room she knew JT had been occupying the last few days

She sat down on the bed intending to wait patiently for his return, though Gemma being who she is was only able to sit still for about 5 minutes before she started snooping around. The first thing that caught her eye was a soft pink piece of paper left out on the nightstand, smiling she picked it up thinking it was for her the letter was written, yet to her shock though she was right in assuming it was a love letter it was not her name it was addressed to but someone named Maureen.

She read the letter over and over again until she couldn't breath. She had suspected JT was being unfaithful and she had known any confirmation she got would be painful but she didn't think it would feel like this.. Her hands were shaking as she steadied herself on the bed trying to take deep breaths in the hope of relieving the painful pang in her chest that only seemed to be getting worse, she almost worried she was having a heart attack, she had a history of heart problems and it wouldn't surprise her if the good old family flaw decided to act up now, it's not like her day could get any worse. She felt as though there were a knife in her chest and as she remembered the words he wrote to his mistress she felt the knife slowly start to turn. It was worse then she could've ever imagined because she wasn't just some whore that he was fucking on the side, he was writing her letters, almost identical to the ones he would write her when she was younger and stupid enough to believe she was special. She had suspected foul play for a while now but she never thought he would hurt her this way, this was different to just having some crow eater go down on him this was..he had another Old Lady. Whatever they had, the memory of their love would be forever tarnished because now she would never be able to stop herself from wondering how many others he wrote to, how many women he had placated with his notorious final line 'I want nothing more than to be by your side' ...he had told her he loved her that morning but her he was writing a letter to this Maureen telling her she owned his heart.

She didn't notice she was crying until her tears hit the paper and she screamed in frustration, she was angry at herself for being so easily brought to tears and she was livid at John for always being the one to bring her there. Hacking sobs shook her body, giving into the pain of betrayal as she connected all the dots, this is why her sons father wasn't by his side when he died, he was in Ireland with her. He wouldn't answer his wife or his club for three days as the rung his phone more times then she could remember because he was off playing happy couple with this bitch, too busy for his family, the memories of all the many times he had walked out on her because of a phone call only adding to the sting of the gaping wound John Teller had left on her heart.

Bobby and Piney both ran to check on Gemma, hearing her scream and thinkin she was in trouble, when they found the Pres' Old Lady sobbing uncontrollably with her arms wrapped around herself, clutching a pretty pink paper in one hand they knew exactly what had happened. Their shoulders dropped and they stood in the door way for a moment just watching and trying to think of what to do, Piney shook his head ashamed of his best friends actions, he patted Bobby's shoulder and walked back to the bar, a crying woman was not something he knew how to deal with.

Bobby clenched his fists by his sides and resisted the urge to punch the wall, not wanting to risk upsetting her further. JT's attitude lately had been bullshit and not just towards Gemma but the club as well, he was distant and careless and it made Bobby's blood boil to see the Queen broken down to her core once again. It had been less then a week since Tomas and now this shit, the woman had just lost her son she didn't need to deal with Johns little Irish squeeze, not now. Gemma was a strong woman and anyone who said otherwise was a fool but even a strong woman had her limits and she was dealin with more than anyone should ever have to go through and half of that landed on JT's back. He didn't know what was goin on in his head lately and frankly he didn't care he just wanted him to be the man this club needed him to be, the man his wife needed him to be.

He gave brief thought to callin JT and havin him fix this mess himself but even if he did answer his phone he knew right now it would only cause Gemma more distress to see the man so instead he went out to the garage to get Clay, he seemed to be the only one to get through to her when she was like this. He didn't know if there was anything going on between them and frankly he didn't give a rats ass as long as he could stop her from hurtin even just a little bit

"Clay!" He yelled above the heavy machinery "Clay! It's Gemma!"

Immediately he stopped what he was doing and looked up "What happened? She okay?"

Bobby shook his head in the negative "she's in the clubhouse cryin her eyes out, found a letter JT was writin to the Irish pussy"

"Shit" Clay cursed violently as he ran off in her direction wondering why he told her to give that asswipe a shot, he had been sure JT was gettin back to his old self but it seemed the careless prick was here to stay He ran straight to JT's room in the back to find her in a mess once again

"Oh baby"

"Clay" she choked between sobs as she's turned to face him, she looked as though she was about to try and explain but then she just broke down again

"Shh, hey shh baby I got you" he said as he sat down beside her wrapping her up in his arms and holding her close to his chest, she clung to him tightly, clutching fistfuls of his leather cut He rocked her back and forth until her cries subsided, he wasn't sure how long it took it could've been minutes hours, he didn't know, not did he care if it made her feel even the slightest bit better

"Did you know?" She asked quietly

"I wanted to tell you baby" he sighed "I just-"

"I get it, he's the president and you're his VP, it's okay. I know you couldn't tell me"

"Even if I wasn't..I'd never wanna tell you something that'd hurt you"

Gemma shook her head and moved in his arms until she was straddling his waist, she took his head in her hands and forced him to meet her eyes

"No. I want you to promise me, promise me no matter how much you think it'll hurt you won't ever lie to me. Promise you'll always be honest with me" she pleaded, her eyes never leaving his

He nodded in response and her eyes dropped to his lips, he moved his head forward almost closing the distance but not quite, he knew she needed him to let her be in control for now and he was more than happy to oblige as he didn't have to wait long before she closed the distance. The feel of her lips upon his had recently become his favourite thing in the world, this was the first time they had kissed since the night of JT's return and she was torturing him with painfully slow ministrations as she ran her petite fingers through his combed back hair, her tongue slowly ran over his bottom lip, begging for entry which he so eagerly granted a soft moan escaping him as his lips parted, his hands coming to rest on her firm ass as their tongues danced together, totally oblivious to the world around them

Until a much too familiar voice broke through the fog.

JT returned from his meeting with the Irish, happy with the admittedly small progress he had made. He greeted his brothers with great cheers and promises to drink the night away but was met with silence in return.

Bobby sat at the bar nursing his beer, not even looking up at his old friend, the prospects seemed on edge and Piney just looked at him and shook his head. John looked around the room confused, he was about to ask who the hell died when he heard the familiar clack of heeled boots hitting the floor in that way that was just hers, the way he would know anywhere. She came out from the back with a tear stained face, her mascara running down her cheeks and Clay following close behind her; he was starting to suspected something was going on between the two and he wondered perhaps if her tears were caused by someone else this time. But when she held up the pink note paper that held his drunken scribbles to his Irish lover from the night before he knew these tears were on him once again. He could hardly remember what he had written but he knew from the look in her eyes that it could never be forgiven.

He wanted to scream and kick himself for his carelessness and he was sure if the room weren't filled with people he would have. He knew how much his wife cherished the letters he had written to her and how this betrayal more than any other must sting.

What she does next ruins any hope he has for making amends as she walks over to the bar and collecting her handbag before walking over to him and dropping the letter at his feet.

They were done.

This final indiscretion was the last nail in his coffin and his last shot at making his family work was over

The room had been silent enough to hear a pin drop since Gemma's appearance and the quiet went on as they all silently stared at their leader. JT felt as though he should hang his head in shame but he wouldn't show that weakness in front of his club so instead he walked tall, headin into the chapel and slammin the doors behind himself, using the solitude the room allowed to sit in the presidents chair and think about what his next move would be

It wasn't long before the chapel doors opened again and when they did they revealed an angry pair of eyes fixated in SAMCROs founder and King..

**_TBC..?_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Enjoy! please review xo_**

It was Piney who came in to talk to his founder and chief and he was pissed off. He took a seat next to JT, just sitting there for a minute before speaking, as if waiting for John to go first and when of course he didn't..

"So..you goin tell me what's going on or do I have to figure that one out for myself?" He sighed

"Don't know what you're talkin about Piney" JT replied, talking another drag of his cigarette

"Don't give me that shit. I know you John and this isn't you. This thing with Gemma and your Irish bird-"

"That ain't your business brother! My family is not your concern" he barked back

"Your family is turnin to shit and it's all your goddamned fault!" He hadn't meant to be harsh but he needed to get through to his friend and he saw no other way "now I've been listening to your wife and a damn good friend of mine cryin her eyes out for the past two hours because her husband is an asshole that's writin letters to his Irish whore when he should be takin care of her and the one son she's got left...Jesus Christ John she only just buried Tomas and you're making her deal with this shit" he said, voicing what everyone else was thinking as he shook his head

JT sat silently with his jaw set in anger

"You need to remember who your friends are JT" he sighed "were all here for you brother, I get that you've got some shit you're tryin to work through right now but cutting us out, hidin behind these doors..it ain't helping you any. All it's doing is loosing you trust friend"

The biker King listened to his friend, making sure to really hear him, he sighed knowing Piney was right and he was about to confide in his life long friend when they heard someone burst through the club house doors screaming

They rushed out to see what the hell was going on to find Otto on the floor beaten and bloody Clay was the first to his friends side "Otto! What the hell happened man?!" Otto put his hand on his brothers shoulder, his breath heavy as he tried to speak, his face badly wounded

"M-Mayans"

"Wetback bastards" Clay muttered "were gonna make this right brother, promise"

"Jesus Christ" Chibs cursed, he was only a new member but he was well liked and he had some medical knowledge which proved to be a great asset in times like this "alright, get him up on the bloody table"

Bobby, JT and Clay lift their battered friend onto the pool table, ripping open his shirt in search of further wounds. There was a bullet whole in his shoulder that went right through and the rest of his torso was covered in some nasty covered bruises

"Shit" Chibs yelled as he tried to find some cloth for the puncture, putting pressure on the damaged area "who ever did this is gonna have hell to pay"

"Don't worry about that now" John said "focus on makin him whole"

"Those spicks have gone to far JT, they gotta die. We gotta send a message that no one moves in on SAMCRO territory and lives" Tig said as he came in from the garage, the biker Queens voice rang through the room as she saw Otto laying on the table

"Jesus" she said rushing over to his side, moving his hair out of his eyes "how you doin baby" "hey darlin..don't worry about me, I'm right as rain"

"You're doin great hon, I'll call Luann, get her over here" she whispered as she kissed his head

"Thanks Gem"

"Anytime baby"

The brunette walked over to Clay, curious as to who was responsible for the damage to friend in the other room "Mayans" he muttered under his breath, he shouldn't really be telling her anything but full disclosure was something that was important to her and breaking the rules, big or small always felt worth it when it was for her "trying to move into Charming territory, don't worry we'll take care of it"

"I know you will baby" she smiled softly, filling him with all the confidence he needed to take on the world "I'm gonna go give Luann a call"

He nodded in acknowledgement and kissed her hair softly "I'll catch you later babe" her hand caught his as he started to walk away "stay safe" she said running her thumb over his knuckles "always" he whispered in reply, smiling back at her before joining his brothers. Gemma looked around making sure no one had witnessed the exchange, when confident they hadn't she went to call the woman that had become a good friend to her over the last few years, Luann was just a little older than herself and though she may make her living by taking dick in the ass, something Gemma had held against her when they'd first met. But she was good for Otto and she was a decent friend, one she had grown to love.

"Hey Luann"

"Hey darlin, what's up?" She replied cheerily

"You gotta get down here" she sighed "Otto...he's in a real bad way"

"What do you mean? What happened?" She said panicking instantly, Otto had been the best thing that had ever happened to Luann, she admitted it freely she was so incredibly grateful to him, they were getting married in the fall and he was getting her out of the pornstar gig. He had promised her when they were married shed never have to work in front of the camera again and she loved him about as much as Gemma loved...well..it was complicated right now

"He's going to be fine baby, it'd just be good for him to see you right now"

"I'll be right there" she said clicking the phone of and getting in the car, speeding all the way over to the auto shop

The boys stayed around Otto, helping Chibs where they could, Tig held a bottle of scotch up to their injured brothers lips hoping the alcohol would help dull the pain as going to the hospital wasn't an option, the bullet wound would attract attention from the sheriffs and the last thing they needed was cops up their ass when they moved to retaliate

Less then five minutes it took for Luann to come running through the doors , worry contorting her features, blonde hair falling hazardously around her face, her eyes scanning the room until she spotted her fiancé, rushing to his side "oh my god Otto, baby what happened to you"

"I'm okay beautiful, it don't hurt that bad" he smiled at her with pure adoration in his eyes "don't worry about me darlin" he said cupping her cheek lovingly "I'm always worried about you Otto" she said kissing his lips gently "I love you baby"

The others stood around awkwardly until JT spoke "hey Chibs, you need to do anything else or can we give these two a minute"

"All done here boss" he nodded before smiling at Luann "he's all yours sweetheart"

She gave a grateful smile and uttered a few words of thanks as she focused her attention back on her old man, Gemma stood over to the side behind her friend and John motioned for the rest of the guys to follow him into church

"I want Alveres' head on a plate for this!" Clay proclaimed as soon as the doors closed Cheers of agreement came from Bobby, Tig and Chibs

"those wetbacks have gotta pay for this shiet Johnny boy" the Irishman said

"Let's not go straight there, we can figure this out" their leader coaxed

"What's their to figure out? They went after one of ours we gotta send a message that that shit doesn't happen or were gonna look weak" Clay chimed in, Tig nodding his agreement from the other side of the table "He's right man, they've given us no choice"

JT, eager to stop the spilling of more blood "we can find away to resolve this without racking up a body count, we just gotta think about this, do it smart"

"How's this for smart" the VP spoke once more "we wipe those brown bastards off the face of the map, leave no one to come back at us, kill em all"

"Clay, that ain't reasonable-"

"To hell it ain't reasonable" Tig interrupted "they went after one of ours brother, trying to move in on our territory, now we gotta make that right"

"And we will!" He said loosing his patience, he sighed "we wait to vote. When Otto is back at the table well make our decision"

"I can tell you what he's gonna say about this shit right now I-"

"Shut it Tig" Piney warned "I'm with you brother" he nodded towards JT

"Yeah, were all with you..Pres" Clay said sarcastically before getting up from the table, pushing out of his chair violently before walking out. JT shook his head before slamming the gavel down signalling the rest were free to follow him out. Clay didn't give a damn about the Kings need for a peaceful solution, he was going to find the men responsible for this and he was going to make sure they paid the price for this grievance.

John exists last, seeing the way Gemma's eyes go straight to his best friend, smiling in that way she used to save only for him and he saw the way his VPs eyes met hers with love and adoration. He said nothing about the exchange, he had no proof, just a gut feeling so he simply watched on with sad knowing eyes, the others had noticed the growing connection between the two but pretended to be blind to it, saying it out loud would make it real and that would be a betrayal, one that had to be answered for but while they stayed silent and seemingly oblivious then there was nothing wrong. Truthfully no one blamed Gemma with the way JT was treating her, first with him abandoning her when Tomas took a turn for the worst then this goddamed thing with the Irish whore, it was clear to everyone with eyes that he didn't give a damn about Gemma anymore and though she may have been his old lady they all loved her, anyone of them would die for her in a heart beat and they wanted to see her happy and if Clay could do that, keep her happy or just even slightly less sad they were going to keep their mouths shut and their noses out of it

Otto eventually fell asleep and Luann took comfort in her friend, crying on Gemma's shoulder "comes with the territory honey, you know it as well as I do" the brunette told her and she rubbed her back "he's just a little bruised up though, he'll be fine in a couple weeks"

"I know, I just hate seein him like this" she cried "I can't take care of him when he's all wounded Gemma my apartments a shit hole I-"

"Stop. You know you can stay at the clubhouse with him, or you can stay with me..as long as you need, you know that"

"Thanks Gemma" she sighed gratefully "I appreciate it really"

"What are friends for" she smirked

**_TBC..?_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hello my lovelies, sorry the wait was a little longer this time, pre warning this chapter is a little different, it's completely from JT's point of view I just thought it was needed to explain his intentions properly etc but yeah hope you enjoy! Please review and I promise more Clay and Gemma for the next chapter xo_**

I watched from the sidelines as my best friend and my wife grew closer and closer, no longer even trying to hide it from me. The others saw it too though they tried to act oblivious. I saw the way their eyes would hit the floor when my darling wife's hand started to inch a little to close to that of my VP, looking at anything but the truth that was right in front of them knowing that knowledge of the affair without action would make them complicit in the betrayal. I should've been humiliated, my wife and my best friend were falling in love before my eyes and in their feigned ignorance my brothers showed their silent support of this unholy union but yet, much to my dismay this treachery didn't make me feel a thing. Not sadness nor anger, not even hurt, perhaps a half hearted feeling of disappointment but even that gave way to acceptance of what I realised was probably inevitable. Gemma was a survivor, she always had been, once upon a time it was one of the reasons I feel in love with her, now that fighters spirit is what brings me comfort and eases some of the immense guilt I feel for the hurt I've caused and the damage I've done because I know with absolute certainty my dark haired Queen won't be down for long

Though I worry what that might mean for me. As the fair skinned, brunette beauty that I had promised my life to my have loved deeper than anyone I have ever known, she hated deeper. If my actions had brought upon the biker Queens grandiose wrath, especially now with a new man of mayhem by her side I feared my life expectancy was rapidly decreasing.

I wrote all this in a letter to my platinum blonde lover from across the sees, my weary heart that seemed to be devoid completely over the last few months of the great passion it had once been filled with ached to be by her side, cradling our baby girl in my arms. I hadn't meant to start a family over there and when Trinity was born I never saw myself as being a father to her the way I was with my boys, I knew it was wrong of me but I didn't think I could ever live that sort of double life, with two families, one completely in the dark not knowing why I was gone for weeks at a time, Jax not knowing he had a sister... It wasn't something I thought I could live with. I had planned to break it off with Maureen, though it would be painful, when I got SAMCRO out of the gun running business but now..

Gemma knew about the letters and there isn't a chance in hell she'll ever take me back now, my marriage was over and with it my reasons to distance myself from my second love, in fact I was feeling closer to her than ever despite the distance between us, the guilt of betraying the mother of my sons weighed heavy on my soul, preventing me from ever being able to give too much of myself to Maureen but now that there was no chance of any sort of reconciliation between them, though the guilt of my actions and my careless handling of such a delicate situation still weighed heavy on my chest I no longer felt it eating away at me, the silent dismissal in her dark chocolate orbs seemed to be exactly what I needed to let myself really love the green eyed angel I had made privy to almost all my inner most thoughts in these letters, she knew my fear, my guilt, my worry, my every doubt and desire. And now, freed from the chains that were supposed to bind it to anothers until death did them part she would she would know the full depths of my heart as now it was hers to command

I want nothing more than to take my son out of Charming, away from what this club has become, to get Maureen and my kids to safety, give them a fresh start away from these people who are poison with the knowledge of what mistakes not to make in the future. The anarchist lifestyle is one of pure freedom, but one that is easily corrupted by greed, starting over entirely is the only way I believe I can truly eradicate it from what I meant to create when I brought this club together. But before I do that I have to know I did everything I could to save my beloved sons of anarchy from what they have become and that means getting them away from guns. Guns and violence are what destroyed this club, turning my great vision into nothing but another gang. I had to stop it, but in order to get out of guns I had to make sure we had no beef with anyone, there was no chance of getting anyone to vote out of guns if we were in the middle of a Mayan turf war.

The boys want blood for what was to Otto and I don't blame them but if my plan is to work we can't go about this like we have in the past, bloodying the streets with dead Mexicans and sending a message by force that we were not to be trifled with. The cycle of violence had to end somewhere. I had to find a way to settle this without bloodbaths and street brawls, I needed to negotiate with Alveres Letting them continue to move in on Charming wasn't an option, the club wouldn't stand for it, a compromise would need to be drawn up, a borderline I could get Alveres to agree upon without coming to blows. I'm not yet sure what that would be, it would be best if they were to just stay out of Stockton completely, though that I knew was a stretch, one they would no doubt spit on, I may have to settle with granting them a section of Stockton to call their own on the condition they stayed out of Charming indefinitely. The issue would need further thought but once it was settled there shouldn't be too many more obstacles to jump over on our way to eradicating the guns besides the IRA and as long as we could set up a suitable replacement they shouldn't be too difficult. The difficulty would come when I try to eradicate myself from this town I had grown to call home, or rather when I tried to take my son sigh me and that difficulty had a name..

Gemma

**_TBC..?_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Sorry about the wait! I have a foreign exchange student from Italy staying with me so I'm slow. On the bright side heaps of Gemma and Clay as promised! Enjoy! & Please review xo_**

The Queen sat amongst budgets and spreadsheets in her office at Teller-Morrow organising everything that her garage monkey lover and absentee husband seemed incapable of managing for themselves. She had tried many times over the years to explain the administrative side of the business but the only outlaw that seemed to have the aptitude for paperwork was Bobby and as he was often busy either in the garage or with club business whenever he wasn't dealing with his bat shit crazy wife, Precious, which meant the bulk of the load fell on her shoulders

Clay was in the shop working on a beat up old wagon that had been brought in for maintenance that morning, though he wasn't sure how productive he was being as the only thing he could get his mind to focus on was sittin pretty in the other room, he tried to be discrete with the others in the room but he couldn't keep his eyes off of her for more then a few minutes at the time. He stared at her through the watching her gorgeous face as she concentrated on tasks he blatantly refused to do and when she finally looked up their eyes met and the passion between them was hadn't been together in weeks, since JT's returned their encounters had been limited to stolen kisses and longing glances from across the room, the occasional grazing of fingers fingers that left them wanting more.

Chocolate, desire filled eyes held his, she wanted him desperately and she could see that same need reflected in his crystal orbs. Gemma loved many things about Clay but her favourite by far was the way he could say so much without uttering a single word, it wasn't like with John, he didn't need to talk they could have whole conversations with the smallest of gestures and with just a look he could make her feel like a goddess. JT used to make her feel that way, long ago before Jax was born, they hadn't known each other long when she got pregnant, just a couple months really and only a couple after that they were married but they were so madly in love, now she thought maybe they had taken things to fast, she wasn't a patient woman and her relationships always tended to move fast but now she wasn't so sure that was for the best, because this thing with Clay, the way she felt when he looked at her with those adoring eyes and that tiny loving smile that curled the corners of his lips oh so subtly made her think that maybe her and JT were just never meant to be..

He eventually couldn't take the temptation anymore and sent Lowell and the prospects into town for lunch and with the lot being empty other than a few brothers passed out in the clubhouse which means once they'd got their useless asses into gear and gotten the hell out of there he and the Queen would have some much needed time alone

He cleaned grease and grime off of strong hands with an old rag as he walked towards the office with his signature swagger, waltzing right through the open door, Gemma didn't look up though, she was trying to act unfazed by his presence though her heart was beating wildly with excitement, she had to hold her breath to keep the smile forming on her lips at bay as he walked over and shut all the blinds, he stood their for a while with his usual smirk on waiting for her to acknowledge his presence but she refused to break.

He chuckled under his breath before walking towards her, slowly, watching her twitch with anticipation at each step closer. She was determined to keep up her ruse, acting as though she didn't need him as badly as they both knew she did, she bit down on her lip as she kept her eyes trained on the papers in front of her. Clay came to a stop behind her chair, lifting his arms painstakingly slowly until he saw her back arch in that way that was almost begging him to touch her. He put his hands on her shoulders, gripping them firmly as he rubbed small soothing circles into her skin with his calloused thumbs, it felt so good she could barely stifle the moan that threatened to escape her lips, he had seen her expression though and she could feel the smugness radiating off of his body, usually that sort of thing would piss her off but for now it just added to her desire to tear his close off. The salt n pepper haired biker knew all too well the effect his touch was having on his lady love, just as he knew she wouldn't be able to contain herself much longer so he leaned down and placed a kiss on her temple, and then another just below it and another after that, letting his hot breath linger heavy on her skin until she just couldn't take it any more

She kicked the chair across the room and out of the way as she pushed him up against the wall, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling his head down and catching his lips in a passionate kiss, their tongues dancing together, both fighting for dominance as she pressed her body up against his, large hands cupped her firm ass and she moaned into his mouth. Clay was trying hard to hold himself back but the things she was doing to his body were making it almost impossible to resist ripping her clothes off and throwing her up on the desk.

The brunette goddess placed small kisses along his strong jawline, nipping and biting clean shaven skin, her intoxicating beauty and obviously well practiced skills being almost more than he could take as he stepped forward pressing her up against the desk as he kissed her neck, she threw her head back in bliss as he mumbled sweet nothings against her skin Opening her eyes she noticed that the door had been left wide open, forgotten about in the heat of the moment, she almost didn't say anything, the thought of his hands not being on her, even for the few moments it would take him to close the door made her want to die but she knew if they left it and the others were to come back too soon and catch them doing the deed they'd both be dead.

"Door" she panted heavily, making Clay look up, confused at first until he caught her meaning, similar thoughts of simply leaving it crossed his mind but the risks of getting caught were just too high for such carelessness, though he seemed to have the same discrepancies with severing contact as he wrapped her legs around his waist and lift her up in his arms. Chuckling she wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her across the small room, slamming the door shut and locking it for good measure before pressing her up against it

Suddenly the short distance back to the desk seemed like miles and neither one of them were up for the journey. She ripped open his jumpsuit pushing it off of him until it fell around his ankles, waiting no time at all she pulled his with tshirt up over his head, desperate to feel his skin under her fingers as she threw it across the room, he pinned her hard up against the wall, holding her there as he tore her jeans off her hips. The rougher he got the wider her smile grew she loved seeing how much he wanted her and she had no problem with a pace, he smiled back, once again reminded of why he loved her so much, he never had to hold back, she could take whatever he could dish out, she was his equal in every, his perfect match, his other half, a fact that was never more clear than now, as he fucked her against the hard wooden door of her office, with her husband, his best friend probably only about a hundred feet away as she tried to bite back the screams of ecstasy that threatened to leave her lips as he touched her in all the right places They parted breathless as her legs slid off his waist and shakily finding their balance in the ground once again

"Miss me baby?" He asked with a satisfied smirk

"You have no idea" she smiled blissfully

X

It was a few hours later when Clay walked into church to find JT sitting at the head of an empty table

"We gotta talk" he said taking his seat at Johns right hand

'About you beddin my wife?' JT thought to himself "...what's on your mind brother?"

"I wanna know what you plan to do about the Mayans"

"I'm gonna organise a sit down with Alveres, work this shit out once and for all" John answered, bracing himself for the inevitable outrage

"What shit?! There isn't any goddamn shit we need to sit down with that wetback about, after what they did to Otto?! There ain't nothing left to say brother, we need vengeance for what they've done, we need to make them bleed!" Clay bellowed angrily "what the hell is going on with you JT?! I know you've never been one for violence but you've never put that before protecting one of our own in the past. Otto is half dead thanks to those bastards and you want to break bread with their king?! I'm sorry Pres but that don't make no sense and it don't sit right with me and you can take my word for it the others ain't gonna wanna work this shit out with the Mexicans 'peacefully' either. We ain't about sittin around braiding each other's hair JT and I won't pretend to know where your heads been at but you should know that at least"

John sat silently and watched Clays rage escape him, though he reeled it back in before the end of his speech. A lot of what his VP said rang true, JT knew where Clay was coming from, in his place he wouldn't react any differently and if he wasn't trying to get out of guns he would feel the same but Clay didn't know any of that he just saw his president refusing to do right by a member and if he didn't explain that's all he would see.

Clay had been his best friend since the war and though they had been estranged over the last few months and now this thing with Gemma he hoped that their friendship was still intact enough that Clay would hear him out, after all Clay was first nine, one of his original brothers that had helped him build this club in the first place...so he decided to take a chance

"I'm not going to start a war Clay, not now"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because wars require guns"

"Which we have an abundance of" he reminded, slightly confused "if ammunition is what you're worried about brother I'm sure the Irish would be more than willing to up the supply"

"But that's just it, I don't want it upped"

Clay cocked his head to the side, finally understanding what JT was getting at "you want out of guns?" He asked, his voice level, face calm. He hid his true feelings about Johns motives well though the President could sense he wasn't as indifferent to the idea as he pretended to be

"We never should've gotten ourselves into it in the first place.." JT coaxed "it's poison. We started this club to live free from the bounds of society, but we were never meant to become criminals. I don't know brother, this club...it's strayed so far from the path we set for it when we first put on the reaper. It's time we got back to that. Time we start earin straight"

Clay nodded "and when do you suppose you're gonna bring this to the table"

"When I'm ready, I gotta get a few things sorted first"

"How far have you gone with this? This is a club decision you know that, if you're having meetings with the Irish-"

"I'm doing what's best for my club! And when I am ready they will know everything"

"Right" Clay responded, pursing his lips in irritation for JTs little outburst "and how you gonna explain to the boys without tellin them the part where you plan to get outta guns, our main source of income, incase you forgot. How are you going to explain why their President is gonna sit down with the man that almost killed a member of this club and talk things out like a couple of bitches at a slumber party?"

"How I deliver the message ain't your concern. The only thing you need to worry about is keepin what you just learned between us, you got that?"

Clay stared at him for a moment before nodding in feign acceptance "alright brother"

With that JT took his leave, heading out to take his shift in the garage. As they parted ways clays mind was spinning out of control he wants to keep running guns, it's what they'd always done, it's what worked it's what put food on the table and he saw no reason in messin with the good thing they had going with the Irish. JT went to work on finishing the mini van that had come in the week before and when Clay was sure he wasn't looking he snuck into the clubhouse, heading straight to JT's room in search of some form of journal, he always kept one. JT never talked a lot, mainly because he was always thinking, so much so that he had to write his thoughts down for keeping then all in his head would drive him insane. For the 20 years he'd known him he'd always kept a record of almost every thought that past through his head, logging them in books and journals methodically, he knew if he could find it he'd find out everything John wouldn't tell him about his plans with the Irish. He searched every corner of the room, though trying not to upset the organisation of it too much, he didn't want JT to know he'd been in there, he came across a locked drawer, opening it with his pocket knife he found no journal but instead pages and pages of loose leaf, it took him a second but he soon realised it was a letter, five pages long and addressed to his Irish gash.

He wasn't going to read it until he remembered how much JT trusted her and thought that maybe he had told her something about it, he picked up and ran his eyes over the pages, finding out for sure that JT knew there was something between him and Gemma had his eye twitching just a little in guilt as he remembered that the woman he had been pounding against an office door that morning was in fact his best friends wife, his guilt faded however and turned to anger and hurt on Gemma's behalf as he expressed his indifference to the relationship, going on to ramble about his growing love for blondie for almost two pages and making Clay want to be sick, he almost stopped reading but he saw on the forth page that he was in fact right, JT had told her all about his plans with the Irish and with the Mexicans as well as some other plans John didn't tell him, he was planing to take Jax and run away with Maureen and...their baby

"Jesus" he mumbled under his breath. Just as he was convinced his opinion of this man couldn't get any lower he had gotten the whore pregnant and now he wanted to take Gemma's only child from her and run off into the sun set with this bitch. No, Clay thought, he couldn't let that happen, loosing Jax would destroy Gemma and he couldn't bare for her to hurt anymore, he wouldn't allow JT to do her anymore damage. He was going to do what had to be done.

The JT he knew was long dead and it was time this one joined him, he knew what he had to do, but first he would tell Gemma, they had always been honest with each other since the start they'd been full disclosure, it was one of his favourite things about them and if he expected to ever have a future with her, one that would last, he couldn't do this behind her back.

He went to her house that night, late enough that he knew Jax would be asleep

"Hey baby"

"Clay...you know we can't here, if Jax wakes up-"

"That ain't what I'm here for Gem"

"Oh.."

"We gotta talk babe"

The familiar look of panic and rejection that washed over her face broke his heart and he couldn't stop himself from pulling her into him and placing a firm kiss upon her head "I love you Gemma" he said, lifting her chin so he could look her straight in the eyes "I'm here, and that ain't ever gonna change"

Some of the tension left her shoulders as she accepted the reassurances he offered her, she relaxed in his hold, suddenly feeling safe once more "So, what do you need to tell me"

He gave her a small sympathetic smile "you should probably sit down for this" she simply responded with a raising of her eyebrow "what I gotta tell ya...it's painful shit"

Gemma sighed dreading whatever it could be that was about to ruin one of the first half bearable days shed had since the death of her son, exactly 36 days ago "come in, well sit down in the kitchen" He followed her down the hall then to the right and they sat down at the dining room table

"I was talkin to John today and-"

"Does he know about us, how would he have found out?"

"Hang on, I'll get to that just-"

"So he does know, Jesus Christ, what about the guys do they know too?"

"Calm down, I'll explain everything just-"

"But-"

Babe."

"Okay...sorry" she mumbled before allowing him to continue uninterrupted He gave her a small smile, resting his hand on top of hers before proceeding to tell her everything he and JT had spoken about that afternoon

"So he wants to get out of guns, what are you guys gonna do for money then? The shops almost deserted this type of year how does he expect to earn? And he's gonna make a deal with the Mayans now? What about Otto, that's like a slap in the face after what they did to him"

The ghost of a smile crossed Clay's lips once more, he loved how similar her opinions were to his

"...that ain't all babe...I found a letter..to his Irish whore"

Her breath hitched painfully but she nodded for him to continue on

"It was bad, Gem. He trusts that gash, he's been tellin her everything. He says he knows there's something going on between us" he said carefully, knowing the next part would cut deep "he told her that he doesn't care...that he loves her.." He adds stopping for a moment to gauge her reaction, Gemma's eyes fill with tears but she doesn't let them fall, nor does she so any sign of the pain this truth had caused her "he told her all about his plans for the wetbacks and cutting ties with the Irish...and what he planned to do after"

"What do you mean?"

"...in the letter, he tells her he wants to leave the club after he gets us out of guns start over..with her" he left out the part about their little bundle of joy, he wouldn't make her suffer that pain, soon JT would be history and his little Irish tart would be a distant memory, she didn't need to know about that transgression. The pain of that betrayal would leave a tear that would never heal on her already scarred heart. No, he wouldn't put her though that, he promised himself when they started this thing that he would do everything in his power to protect her from anymore hurt, and this, this was a pain he could protect her from. This would be the one secret he would never share with his Queen

She looks at him stunned "So-so wait, he's just going to abandon his club? His family? His _son?_"

"No...he plans to take Jax with them.."

"WHAT?!" She said loud enough to shake the house. Luckily Jax was a heavy sleeper and didn't hear a thing "that piece of shit isn't going anywhere with my son! If he thinks I'm just going to sit back while he takes my son and rides off into the sunset with that fucking Irish whore then-"

"Gemma, babe, calm down. I'm not gonna let him take your boy my love, I promise you that." He said taking her face between his hands, forcing her eyes to meet hers "JT is out of control, he's been putting himself ahead of everything, the club, his family, his sons...it's time he goes away.." He explained, his meaning clear

She was silent for a moment, the pain in hear eyes visible as she accepted what was to be the end of an era..but then she nodded, closing the distance between them and kissing his lips gently, accepting that as one era ends, another begins..the times were changing and she was ready, to say goodbye to her first love..for her great love.

"Do what needs to be done."

**_TBC..?_**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Enjoy! The new chapter will be posted soon, let me know what you think of this one xo_**

Clay doesn't stay long, they didn't want to risk Jax waking up nor the possibility that someone could drive by and recognise that the bike out front didn't belong to JT He rose from the kitchen table, leaning over and kissing his now heavy hearted Queen, he knew this would be hard for her but he planned to give her whatever she needed to help her through, whether that be space or...not so much space.

It wasn't until she heard the front door shut and the sound of a bike start up and pull out of the drive way did Luann, who had been staying with Gemma whilst Otto healed at the clubhouse, made her presence known to her gracious host and the woman that she had grown to consider her best friend over the years they'd known each other

"That didn't sound like JT" Luann stated as she leaned up against the door frame

"it wasn't." The brunette relied shortly as she lit up a cigarette, not even looking back at her friend

"Whatcha doin Gem" she asked,concern for her friend lacing her words

Gemma let out a frustrated sigh as if she might snap before taking a deep breath and replying coolly "...you don't need to know"

"No judgement here baby girl...you only need to have eyes to see he loves you" the blonde assured, in reference to the well built, strong jawed biker that had just left

"..thanks" she muttered, surprised there truly was no judgement. She knew nothing about what she and Clay had just discussed but she did know there was something going on between the two of them and there was something in her face that suggested they almost approved, which for Gemma meant a lot.

She had feared that no one would ever understand and that they'd all see her as a whore for going from JT to Clay but Luann's reaction gave her hope that perhaps when everything ended the way it was supposed to and they ended up together that she wouldn't be hated by the one family she had; the club

"what are friends for" Luann said, echoing the words Gemma had spoken when she offered her a room in her house. The share a small smile before Luann turns back towards the room she'd been staying this last week and leaves Gemma to be alone with her thoughts

Finally with a moment to herself she lets the reality of what's about to take place hit her. She had just given her lover her blessing to kill her husband, the father of her children. The thought sickened her to the very core, so much so she had to run to the bathroom, emptying the content of her stomach into the porcelain bowl opposite the door as her nerves and emotions began to get the best of her, she felt herself on the edge of tears, unable to believe what she'd just done, she felt them start to fall and growled in frustration, wiping them away swiftly and turning around to face herself in the mirror

"stop it, snap out of it you stupid bitch" she hissed at her reflection under her breath No, she wouldn't let herself cry, not for him, not after all he'd done. The threat of loosing Jax to his other woman was just to much, she didn't have a choice. She wouldn't grieve over what had to be done in order to keep her son

XXX

Clay had devised a plan to get rid of JT but he was going to need some help making sure it never landed on him or the club, if anyone were to find out about this he was a dead man. He headed to the Sheriffs station to see the soon to be Chief Unser, he'd been in love with Gemma for as long as anyone could remember, he used to baby sit her when she was young, he took care of her still seemingly unable to kick the habit even after her three year absence from the quaint little town, his dedication and loyalty not wavering even slightly despite the young boy and heard of bikers she brought with her upon her return. She knew that just as well as everyone else in town and she had used it to her advantage a number of times for all kinds of favours, legal and otherwise. Clay now would use this undying devotion to his own advantage

"Unser"

"Clay Morrow. Now what did I do to deserve this honour?" The older man asked sarcastically

"We gotta talk Wayne" he replied with his usual unfazed bravado

"Well then by all means, step into my office" Clay rose an eyebrow to let the old cop know that his attitude was less than amusing and received a single chuckle in response "so, what could the big bad outlaw possibly want to talk to little old me about, hm?"

"Cut the crap Deputy" Clay bit back as he took a seat "we got business to discuss"

Unser looked at him curiously and nodded for him to continue

"Look, everyone knows it's only a matter of weeks before that ancient prick, Jacobs, steps down and you take his place as Chief. I mean he's really just a figure head anyway right?"

Unser didn't respond, instead just waiting to see where he was going with this

"I know you love Charming old man, it's your home, your town, you've spent most of your life protectin it. I'm here to tell you that, I may not have grown up here like you but I consider this town my home just as much as the next guy and I don't want to see it destroyed"

"What are ya talkin about Clay"

The biker sighed "it's..JT he's...changed. He's not lookin out for the club, or his family the way he should be. He wants to start dealin IRA guns-"

"Am I supposed to pretend I don't know you fellas aren't doin that and have been since the day you showed up?" He interrupted

"Fair enough" Clay smirked "I ain't here to lie to you Wayne. We may have some business goin but it's nothin compared to what JT has in mind. He's planing to expand and that means this quaint little town we got ourselves here is about to become a lot more dangerous. Plus this new deal his making is going to mean more beef with other clubs which means more bodies dropping all over your peaceful little town"

"So what do you want me to do here? Arrest him?"

"No. JT has to go, for all our sakes, and when that happens I'm going to need someone to make sure it doesn't blow back on the club"

"Woah, woah, woah, hold up just a minute, who the hell do you think your talking to? I ain't no dirty cop if that's what you think and I won't be-"

"I don't need you to do anything Chief, just look the other way. I'm not asking for me, I'm asking for Charming..and for Gemma"

"Gemma? What does-"

"Don't play dumb Wayne, I know you keep an eye on her, I know you know what he's been doing. The cheating, the beating leaving her alone for weeks, he wasn't there when Tomas died, he ignores Jax. She's terrified of him, she thinks he's going to start hitting Jax, she's on the phone crying to me every other night, he's turning her into a shell of the fierce, beautiful woman she was"

Unser lets out a breath of rage, his hands clenched in anger, he wasn't a violent man and he probably wouldn't ever confront JT but damn if he didn't want to

"...I know you love her..I do too. And I want her safe, safe from the piece of shit she married. So what I wanna know is if you're prepared to help me do what needs to be done to keep her safe"

Unser sat back in his seat, staring out the window seemingly lost in thought before giving the biker the smallest of nods. He would make sure Gemma was safe, no matter what it took.

"What are you planning to do?"

"That ain't your concern Chief, all you gotta worry about is making sure it never lands on me or my club."

"And what happens after that?"

"Gemma gets to sleep easy" he replied standing "nice doin business with ya old man"

XXX

JT had called a church meeting as soon as Clay returned to the club house

The boys all sat around the table, even Otto who was almost healed, enough so to stand and move around which meant it was time to take a vote on what was to be done about the Mayan problem

"I know some of you want vengeance, but bloodshed isn't the answer here. I wanna sit down with Alveres tonight, talk this shit out and resolve it without having any bodies dropping in Charming, Mayan or Son"

"He's right" Clay chimed in unexpectedly, bringing everyone's attention his way "we don't want anyone getting killed" JT nodded his head in a show of thanks for the support offered but Clay simply smiled knowingly. He and Otto had come to an understanding before this meeting took place. This was all just part of the plan

"What do you think Otto?" Bobby asked, he wasn't a violent man and if he could get out of going to war with the Mayans he would but his loyalty was always with his brothers first, it was Otto that had been attacked and therefore it should be him to decide the their corse of action

"I think...our President has never led us astray before..I trust his judgement" he replied, though what he said and what he felt were two different things entirely. He couldn't wait to see that jerk permanently removed from the head of the table, his loyalties lay firmly with Clay

"Then I suppose it's time to take a vote" the Scotsman sighed, disappointed that it seemed he wasn't going to be able to get any retribution for the actions against the his friend

"All for the meet with Alveres say yay" JT announced "yay"

"Yay" said Clay

"Yay" from Otto

"Yay" from Piney and then Bobby after him

Tig and Chibs were reluctant but in the end the vote was unanimous and JT slammed down the gavial, pleased that his brothers were behind him. Little did he know that two of them were about to send him off to this meet unarmed with no back up, totally oblivious to the fact that they had just killed three of Alveres' men, including a prospect who just so happened to be the Mayan VPs little brother and left them all on the wetbacks doorstep.

John Teller was about to be sent directly into the valley of death by the very men he called his brothers

**_TBC..?_**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Okay so there's not much Gemma and Clay in this Chapter, sorry! But there will be a lot of them over the next couple, I'm planing to kill off JT in the next Chapter and then it'll be a lot more about just the two of them as well as their relationship with Jax. I know I'm going To take this I think at least until Clay and Gemma get married but to be honest I'm not really sure were I should end it so if you want me to continue up to a certain point or maybe even go to when the series starts I'm open to suggestions about it but other then that please enjoy! And don't forget to review xo_**

JT had prearranged the meeting to be just between himself and Alveres, no weapons, no angry brothers, just two presidents talking shit out. He walked into the old wearhouse just outside of Charming they had agreed to meet at to find twelve angry Mexican bikers spread out over the room with their guns aimed straight for his head

"I thought we said we were comin alone" he addressed Alveres who was in the middle of the rest of them, leaning back against some rusty old abandoned car. JT held out his hands in the air as two of the men walked over and frisked him for any weapons

"That was before you killed my little cousin esé" he spit back before taking another drag of his cigarette

"What the hell are you talking about" he asked confused

"Don't play dumb with me Pres, I know it was your guys that killed them, we saw them take off" The Mexican leader bit back as he walked over to stand in front of John

"Alveres I got no idea what you're talking about, my guys all agreed to this meeting" JT said honestly, boggled by the accusation, though the quick minded biker was starting to put together what might if happened and who was responsible for his current predicament

"Oh yeah, well three of my guys are dead so either you're lying or some of your brothers changed their mind" shit JT thought, this had to be Clay setting him up. He was the only one that had enough motive and enough balls.

"Look this was my idea, if it had been my plan to cross you do you really think I'd show up here alone? How bout we put the guns down and we talk this shit out like we planned" he said calmly, trying to ease the situation. Alveres thought about it for a second but all facts considered what he said was the truth, it was his idea for the meeting to be alone and just as he said he hadn't brought the weapons, so based on that he decided to trust JT, for now.

"Say what you came here for esé"

"you've been movin in to Stockton as of late, that's son territory. But I talked to my guys and they've agreed to let you have a piece of it as long as you agree to stay clear of Charming" he offers, relaxing slightly now that the guns were off him

"And what's to stop us from just killin your ass now and taken whatever we damn well please" Alveres said, stepping aggressively into his personal space

"You could do that. But you'd be bringing every charter of the sons from here to Belfast down on your heads. I'm trying to keep my boys from going to war here but you attacked a brother and as you can see we don't take that shit lightly. You don't have to take the offer friend but if I were you I'd sure as he'll be given it some thought" John said without even blinking an eyelash. He had always had one hell of a poker face.

"Your guys killed three of mine, how are you going to make that right" he asked as he stepped back, settling down considerably

"I didn't give that order. But I'm given you a piece of our territory, if that ain't enough for you maybe you should remember who struck first" JT bit back with cold eyes, he didn't care what may have happened he wasn't going to offer up any of his boys to the slaughter in some sort of sick evening of the scale

Alveres clenched his jaw, knowing this was the best offer he was going to get and that if he did decide to go to war there was a good chance he wasn't coming out on top "..,I'll talk to my guys about it. Get back to you with my decision, until then you better make sure your boys no their place homes, they almost cost you your head just now"

"I'll let them know"

XXX

JT knew it was Clay that had set him up. His best friend was the only one that would have the balls to smile in his face and then send him off to his death. But that wasn't what made his stomach turn and his heart clench, no because no matter how much that betrayal stung it was nothing compared to the gut feeling he had that Gemma was some how apart of the plan. He knew it in his heart, Gemma could be a cold woman, you only had to meet her to know that but John had always been able to get to the soft side of her, she was his Queen, his better half the one person he knew would always have his back, but he didn't have hers. He'd betrayed her and he'd brought this down on himself, he'd hurt her like no one else could and now she'd turned on him. JT had pushed her right into Clays arms and whilst both were dangerous alone he couldn't imagine what they'd be like together. JT was afraid now because these people, his wife and his VP, they were the type of people that made great friends..and even greater enemies and with his enemies creating a united front SAMCROs President really didn't stand much of a chance.

Whilst he knew in his gut they were behind this he had no idea which of his brothers had joined Judas for a share of the silver, so he decided his best corse of action for right now was to act as if it had all gone smoothly He proceeded to enter the clubhouse, throwing a knowing look over to Clay who simply held his gaze before putting on a fake smile and telling the boys that it had all gone to plan and that they were to have a party in celebration whilst the Mayans sat down and worked shit out amongst themselves

Clay was pissed that his plan didn't go down accordingly and took the first opportunity to sneak out of the crowd and into the back alley for a moment to himself to let out his frustration as he kicked the crap out of an innocent bag of garbage. Within minutes Otto followed him out

"So, we gonna try again?"

"You're damn right we are and this time were going to get it done right, no more trusting those stupid wetbacks to do our dirty work for us. We gotta end this tonight" Clay wanted to yell but he managed to keep his voice hushed incase they had company

"What's the plan brother" Clay sighed and began pacing up and down as he tried to think of a next move, one that wouldn't fall back on him "we gotta make it look like an accident. Maybe mess with his bike or something"

"He's having Lowell work on it after hours tonight, wants it ready to go for some thing he's got going tomorrow morning"

"Perfect. So, here's what were going to do, you're going to get your hands on a little crack and then you're going to get Lowell outta my way for about 20 minutes and while you're doing that I'll fix JTs bike so that the next time he rides..is his last"

"you can count on me Clay" Otto assured

"I know brother" Clay acknowledged as he pulled his old friend into a brotherly embrace

Over Ottos shoulder he saw his dark beauty pulling up opposite where they were standing, as she got out of the car their eyes met and for one intense moment they both felt everything the other was feeling, love, longing, fear, guilt, desperation, sorrow and then Clay dropped his eyes, not ready to face her before the deed was done. Gemma let out a shaky sight and dropped her head as well before heading on into the clubhouse

"You sure all this is just about what's best for the club?" Otto asked with an eyebrow raised and the hint of a smirk on his lips, much less oblivious to the silent moment shared between the two lovers then Clay would've liked

"It's about protecting the people I love" Clay gave back defensively "all of them" he added, his tone slightly softer as his thoughts drifted to the woman that owned his heart before her headed back inside

Gemma had brought groceries for the boys staying at the clubhouse as she did every Monday and just as she did every Monday she tried to prove she didn't need any help and tried to carry one more bag then she could handle, resulting in her not being able to see what was in front of her and ultimately crashing into her estranged husband

"Shit" she mumbled under her breath

They both bent down to pick up the fallen items, grabbing at fruit as it rolled in different directions and salvaging the beer bottles that hadn't broken, both hands reached for the same can of soup and as his fingers brushed against hers their eyes found each other for the first time since she had found that letter and what she saw in his dark eyes made her heart stop

Fear.

He knew what she and Clay were trying to do, she didn't know how but he did and he was afraid of her. She suddenly felt ill and found herself running for the bathroom before she could even finish cleaning up. She thought she heard a few people call after her, wondering if she was okay but it was all so distant right now, all she could hear were the voices in her head that made her want to die She barely made it to the john before she threw up for the second time that day

"Get a grip" she whispered to herself as she got back up off the floor

She hated JT, she really did. But it was hard to only think of the bad with him, every time she thought about what was about to happen she remembered all the good times they had, how in live they used to be, how happy..

Gemma wasn't a naive woman and she was very aware of the norm of this lifestyle but she had never killed a man before and though she wouldn't be doing it herself it didn't feel any different to her. To her it felt like she was planning to murder the father of her children, the man that had treated her like a Queen until recent years, the man she vowed to always stand behind

But she just kept reminding herself why. She thought of Jax and how lost she'd be without him, she thought of Clay and how his love had brought her back to life, how he had saved her and how much she loved him for it and she pushed down all her guilt and her doubts, compartmentalised them so she wouldn't have to feel them anymore, because this..this had to be done.

It was much later that night, into the early hours of the morning when Gemma and pretty much everyone but a few crow eaters and a couple of the guys, including JT who had spent all night in his room no doubt writing to his Irish pussy, had all gone home.

Lowell had fallen asleep in the garage by Johns bike before even finishing it, the junkie sack of shit hardly got anything done without a hit and no one really understood why JT kept him around, but he was the only one trusted to work on John tellers bike

"Hey, Lowell" Otto said shaking him awake

"Oh, what, oh shit man I'm sorry, tell JT I'm just about to finish, just gimme 2 minutes okay" Lowell mumbled sleepily as he begun fumbling around with his tools

"Hey, don't worry about it, JT ain't even up yet, you got plenty of time...what do you say you come with me" she said flashing the small bag of white powder he had acquired "take a little break huh?"

"Are you, are you serious, I mean I don't-" he stuttered clumsily as he searched his pockets for cash

"Don't worry bout it buddy, this ones on me. Why don't we go round back a minute, then you can come back, finish this off"

"Sure, thanks man"

"Don't mention it" Otto smiled as he lead the intellectually challenged mechanic out of the garage, signally Clay as he left who swooped in to finish the job that would be the end of John Teller

**_TBC..?_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Sorry I'm reposting this chapter, I haven't watched SoA in a while to be honest and I forgot the details of JTs death which has been brought to my attention, something I should've checked first but nevermind lol hope you like the edited version. Enjoy! Please review, next one up soon xo_**

JT stayed in his room in the club house most of the day, writing and avoiding the brothers that want him dead. Today was the day he finally finished the manuscript he had been working on for the last year to give to his sons when the time came for them to understand the what he had tried to build and the mistakes he made that lead to what the creation of the mess the club had become. Clay waited anxiously for him to just get on the damn bike. He wanted this resolved. Done. Dead.  
So that he could move on, doing the right thing for the club and for Gemma .

It wasn't until late that afternoon JT looked like he might be heading out, after his last letter to Maureen had been posted and his affairs were in order. He mailed a copy of his memoirs to Piney, put one in storage and left the other for Jax when he was ready.

JT began making his way to his meeting with the Irish around sunset, continuing on as though everything is normal. He was riding along just fine, peaceful even, that was until he tried to break. The crash was brutal, agonising, his foot was trapped under his bike leaving no chance of escape as the 18 wheeler dragged his beaten body half way down the stretch. He felt every tear and every crunch his body made as he bounced along the road he had taken so many times before and as he lay there, the smell of blood filling his senses even before is started pouring out of his mouth, his sight became blurred, his perception of time distorted beyond recognition, everything around him seemed to speed past at a million miles an hour while he himself stayed perfectly still, as if frozen, everything that mattered to him, his whole life flashing before his eyes, his brothers at war that shared a similar fate, laid out on the cold hard ground bleeding to death from their injuries while chaos continued to go on around them. Part of him thinks he should've died then with them but then he remembered the other brotherhood that meant so much to him, the one with the leather clad knuckle heads that had rode by his side, he thought of his best friends, he thought of his daughter across the seas and the lover he was about to abandon, he thought of the son he would be united with, but the last faces that John Teller saw as he took his final breathes, lying in a hospital bed he didn't remember how he got to, were that of the son he would leave behind and of his Queen, the one he had promised his heart to, the one who owned it to his dying breath despite all that had transpired between them, the one he would love even after death did them part.

Gemma ran through every red light on the way to the hospital, a war going on within her on what news she was hoping to receive when she arrived. Dead or alive. She was so sure she was ready, that she was strong enough to let this happen, for the good of her family. But now that it was really happening she found herself in a panic, her hands shaking and her knees weak, her fragile heart almost giving way when she saw him laying bloody and beaten in that bed. Her son broke free of the death grip she had on his shoulder, his tear filled eyes focused on only one thing as he ran to his fathers bedside. While Jax was over there the doctors tried to explain to Gemma the extensive damage that her husband had suffered and how little they could do for him now. Not that she could hear them, she had filtered out the outside world hearing only the voices of the memories that overtook her

_She saw them in bed together, young and stupid, they'd only known each other a month or so "I love you Gemma" he whispered against her skin in a way that made her stop breathing. She suspected he did and she knew how she felt about him but hearing it leave his lips for the first time made it all the more real, made her feel for the first time in her life that she was worthy, worthy of someone's love_

_She saw the way his face lit up when she told him she was pregnant and how that smile melted all her fear away_

_She saw herself standing there in a white dress in front of all his closest friends, her belly making her feel like a whale as she walked down the isle, some not so nice comments from her mother serving to weigh heavy on her mind. Seemingly knowing exactly what she was thinking JT didn't even wait for her father to let go of her hand before he kissed her and whispered in her ear the way he knew she loved "you look beautiful baby" and once again her dark mind was lit up by her leather clad Prince Charming_

_She saw him holding her hand as she gave birth to their first child and the tears in his eyes as he heard the nurse say "it's a boy"_

_She saw him gently running his fingers along her stitched up chest as she lay in a hospital bed after surgery, afraid he would think her ugly now that she had this great big scar between her tits, instead he just smirked at her playfully "still the fairest of them all my Queen"_

Gemma's knees gave out and she had to sit down on one of the chairs placed conveniently in all the hospital hallways. She made sure to control herself, keeping composed though on the inside she was so close to sobbing on the hospital floor for the second time in recent months that she could already feel the seas of tears rising in her eyes. But she wouldn't. Not with Jax here, it was her job to be strong now, to be the mother he needed her to be. Clay walked in just as the scene was taking place in her mind and found himself experiencing a host of different emotions, the most prominent being guilt that it had been he who had caused her this pain and suffering and, though he would never admit it to anyone, a considerable amount of jealousy. If he was honest with himself he didn't want her to care this much, he wanted her to be so in love with him that JT's death meant nothing, he didn't want to share her heart with any man, not even a dead one. He could see in her eyes, in the tension in her shoulders, he could read her emotions like no one else. To him she was like an open book and from what he was reading now was that as collected as her exterior may be, she was feeling anything but. When he decided she'd had enough time to steady herself and hide her agony he walked over and sat on the seat beside her, resting his head in his hands

"I'm sorry"

"No, you did the right thing. It had to be done" she said suddenly going cold, trying to forget as much of her love for JT as possible and replace it with that which she had for Clay.

She ran her hand up and down his hunched over back, closing her eyes ad remembering everything they had right from the start

_She remembered when JT first introduced them, the way he had looked her up and down trying to stop himself from drooling "Jesus JT, how'd you get a broad like that with that ugly mug" he said jokingly, his eyes never leaving hers. She heard John laughing behind her as Clay walked over, putting his arm around her shoulders, his signature smirk glued to his face as he whispered playfully "listen you ever get tired of my friend over here, I am available...day or night..whenever you need" he winked before walking away and leaving her and John alone_

_She saw the conflict on his face when JT announced her pregnancy to the gang, she remembered the way he came up to her after "guess that means well be seein a lot more of each other. Can't say I'm disappointed" he smiled, though something about his eyes told her he was disappointed, disappointed that it wasn't he who was the father of her child_

_She saw him at her wedding, coming in to talk to her after her mothers cruel words had left her crying at her vanity, JT couldn't talk to her, she didn't want to bring on the bad luck of him seeing her before the wedding, she was already pregnant out of wedlock. A visit from the best man was the only reason she was willing to leave the room "you don't need that old bat Gem. Were your family now and we all love you babe" he smiled warmly in a way that made heart sing as he pressed a firm kiss to the top of her head, he was like a knight in shinning armour, always there to save her_

_She saw him sitting by her side in a dull and dreary hospital room, taking over for JT who was going to get Jax, he hadn't seen her since the operation, she could feel him staring and she let out a strained chuckle under her breath, he grinned widely "so you are awake. Gotta say..this scarred thing you got going now...kinda hot" he winked, instantly releasing all her concerns about this making her look sickly and weak. JT had told her otherwise earlier but he was her husband, he had to say that. Coming from Clay she knew it was genuine, words could be faked and sugarcoated but the telling lustful glint to his eyes she knew for sure to be real and it made her feel sexy even in a hospital gown_

_She sees his arms wrapped around her, as if trying to take her pain as she cradled the body of her dead child- she sees him telling her he loves her over and over_

_She sees him there for her every time JT wasn't_

She tells herself this is how it was meant to be, that she and lay were fated to be together, she and Clay and she tells herself JT was just in their way, she goes over it and over it until she truly believes it and the pain of loosing the man she vowed to love and hold through sickness and in health didn't seem so immobilising. The cold hearted Queen of the bikers did what she does best and and pushed it back, compartmentalising all she felt for John and locking it away until she could no longer feel a thing.

Suddenly Gemma rose from her seat without warning, walking into JT's room to see her son weeping at his side. She pulled her usually strong and fearless little man onto het lap as she sat in the chair across from the bed, rocking the preteen in her arms as he cried, placing small kisses on the top of his head. She let him cry on her shoulder until his throat was raw and he could cry no more. JT was gone.

"It's just you and me now, baby" she whispered as he drifted to sleep, a single tear rolling down her cheek as her lover watched the scene from the doorway

**_TBC..?_**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Sorry, I know it's shorter than usual, I just honestly couldn't be bothered spending anymore time writing about JT. But oh well, next chapter will have much more Gemma and Clay goodness and drama yay lol. I'll try and update soonish but I've got a lot on at school over the next couple weeks so we'll see, I'll do my best. Enjoy! And please review xo **_

For most the image of 5 bikers running through the hospitals double doors would be rather terrifying, for Gemma it was just sad. They were too late to say goodbye. John Teller was gone.

They all stopped when they saw her, expecting her to point to a room or tell them of his current condition but she merely shook her head sadly.

A wave of silence over took the usually loud, rowdy bikers. They were stunned. Too stunned to even move. Their president, their club founder was dead.

Tig rammed his head into the hospital wall before pacing back and forth, as if trying to figure out what to do with the information he had just received. He was always rather odd. The others all began to process it in their own ways, Bobby Elvis was starring at a spot on the floor shaking his head, the scot was cursing under his breath as he leaned against the wall whilst Piney slid down into one of the chairs in the hall way, his elbows propped up on his knees and his head in his hands as he broke down. The rest seeming to sober to their grim reality as their usually strong and composed older brother let his mournful tears fall at the loss of his greatest friend.

Gemma slowly took a seat beside him, reluctantly pulling his head against her chest and letting him take comfort in her. It was what she did best, taking care of her boys. All of them.

XXX

Clay calls for a church meeting later that afternoon. Six sullen faces sit around the table in silence for what feels like an eternity as they stare at the now empty seat at the head of the table. A single tear fell from Clays eye for the man he once loved so dearly. The man he had betrayed in the worst of ways. He had taken his wife, his life and soon he would take his club as well not to mention his son. Clay was a soldier, this wasn't the first time he killed a man, it wasn't even the first time he killed one of his own men. He was used to doing what needed to be done, but as he looked at his brothers empty chair the tiny shed of a conscience he had left began to eat away at his dark soul

"JT..he was the best of all of us. He hadn't been quite himself these last couple months but..he was still the best men I've ever known. He started this brotherhood, brought us all together. He had a vision. A dream for what it was supposed to be...it ain't ever gonna be the same without JT" Clay sighed "but we owe it to him to keep this club, to keep his dream alive"

There was a collective nod of agreement around the table before Otto spoke up

"It should be you to take his place at the table" he announced, directing his statement to Clay "it's what he would have wanted"

The salt n pepper haired biker paused for a long moment, suddenly unsure if he really wanted that seat "we should take a vote. Anyone else who wants the opportunity to lead should have the chance at a gavial." He said finally "so anyone who wants a shot at bein club Pres, raise your hand"

All hands stayed firmly on the table. "All in favour of Vice President, Clay Morrow takin the gavial say yay" Otto declared "yay."

"Yay" said Chibs

A "yay" from Tig and Bobby as well

And then finally a quiet raspy "yay" from Piney who sat at the other end of the table wallowing in his grief

"Unanimous" stated "congratulations Pres"

Clay nodded respectfully before calling an end to their meeting

XXX

Gemma spends all day with her young son wrapped up in her arms, just holding him and trying to make him feel like his whole world wasn't over. Tomas and JT may have left them, but he still had her. He would always have her. Of that she would make sure.

He was quieter then usual, hardly said a word. Watching Jax in so much pain and knowing she was apart of the cause made her sick to her stomach, but there was nothing she could do for that now. Only hold him tighter and hope to absorb even a fraction of his pain so that he wouldn't have to feel such disabling heartbreak.

The pair didn't leave the house or see any one until the funeral which was held three days later. The service was small but church was packed to the rafters. Everyone from old army buddies, to other charters, to regular townsfolk that didn't mind the outlaw protection their town had had for the last decade showed up to pay their respects.

JT was given a full military service and buried amongst his fellow soldiers. Jax stayed by Gemma's side the entire day, from the time they left the house to the time she went around thanking everyone for coming. It wasn't until they went back to the clubhouse for the wake that he went off with Opie

It was the first time Clay had seen Gemma since the hospital. He allowed her the space she knew she needed and didn't interrupt her time with her son but he yearned for her, yearned to touch her to hold her to smell her hair to just be near her but she kept her distance, refusing his many advances and ignoring the longing in his eyes. Eventually she had enough and pulled him aside

"JT is barely in the ground, would you try to control yourself" she whispered angrily

He put his hands on her hips just dying to touch her "Gem I just-"

"-I don't care" she but back, cutting him off and pushing him away "it's too soon I can't do this to Jax, not yet. He calls you uncle, I can't just jump into this it'll hurt him too much-"

"-yeah I know" he said softly, holding up his hands in surrender "...but babe, he doesn't gotta know. Not yet" he continued, pushing a few strands of hair from her eyes

"none of them can, it's too soon Clay...we gotta keep this shit a secret..at least for a little while longer" she replied, her voice softer than before as she allowed herself to look into his crystal blue eyes

"do I still get to see you?" He asked hopefully, not quite sure were her head was at at this point and unable to think about much else besides how much he wanted to press his lips to hers

"yeah of course but you can't be comin round the house...well figure something out baby, promise" she said, her breath catching in her throat as she felt his against her skin

"say it" he whispered hoarsely in her ear in that way he knew left her tingling all over

"say what?" She asked breathlessly

He pressed a soft teasing kiss against her lips before pulling back just enough to speak, his lips still only millimetres away from hers "you know what" he murmured

"love you Clay...always"

He brought his mouth down to hers once more, this time hungry and passionate "and I love you...forever"

XXX

It was about a week later, when everyone was starting to come to terms with the great tragedy that had befallen the kindhearted biker that the new club president decided to pay the newly appointed Chief Unser another visit, with the intention of making him an offer that would be very prosperous for them both, and in the best interest of Charming of course..

**_TBC..?_**


End file.
